Can I Beat Elden Ring With ONLY My Butt? A Hilarious (and Painful) Speedrun Challenge

Alright, Tarnished. You've seen it all, right? Sword builds, magic builds, even bow builds. But have you ever wondered if the ultimate challenge lies not in mastering your weapon, but in embracing your... posterior? Today, we dive deep into a speedrun concept so absurd, so demanding, it redefines what "hardcore gaming" truly means. Can you beat Elden Ring using only your character's butt for attacks? Let's find out.

The "Butt Challenge" Explained

This isn't about cheese grater attacks or strategically placed kicks. We're talking about using specific weapon types or ashes of war that, through sheer audacity and community memeing, have become known as "butt attacks." Think of weapons with wide, sweeping rear-end animations or certain weapon arts that functionally involve the character's backside. The goal is to clear the game from start to finish, defeating all mandatory bosses, using these butt-centric attacks as your primary damage source. It’s a test of patience, RNG manipulation, and an ironclad will to see through the most ridiculous premise in #speedrunning.

The entity at the core of this challenge is, of course, Elden Ring itself, and the specific #speedrun category that has spawned from this wild idea. It’s a prime example of the creativity within the #gaming community, pushing the boundaries of established mechanics for the sake of entertainment and a truly unique #PB.

Early Game Struggles: From Tarnished to Toast

Let's be real, the early game is brutal. Forget your trusty Broadsword or Meteorite Staff. You're starting with something that might involve a weapon art like 'Charge Forth' on a spear, where the animation looks suspiciously like a swift posterior nudge, or perhaps a great hammer's sweep that feels… well, like a butt slam. Getting through the tutorial area, Margit, and Godrick the Grafted with nothing but your rear end is an exercise in pure masochism.

The lack of damage output means every encounter is a war of attrition. Bosses like Margit can feel impossible. You're relying heavily on dodging, finding tiny openings, and praying the enemy AI doesn't decide to just spam attacks that punish your slow, butt-centric wind-ups. It's here that the #RNG gods play a massive role. A single bad enemy spawn or an unfavorable attack pattern can cost you minutes, or worse, the entire run.

"The first few hours were pure pain. I died to soldiers more times than I care to admit. It felt like every enemy was specifically designed to counter my 'butt' strategy. But then, a flicker of hope... Margit’s parry window felt… achievable?"

Finding the right starting class and weapon is crucial. Some players opt for the Vagabond for its decent starting stats and armor, while others might experiment with the Warrior for faster, albeit still butt-focused, weapon arts. The key is identifying those early game weapons with accessible 'butt' animations and decent stagger potential, even if the damage is abysmal.

Mid-Game Madness: The Ranged Retaliation

As you progress into the mid-game, facing off against bosses like Radahn, the Godskin Duo, and Starscourage Radahn, the "butt challenge" takes on a new dimension. You're likely still struggling with melee range, but some players have found ways to incorporate ranged "butt" attacks. This might involve specific spells that have comical animations or certain Ashes of War that launch projectiles with a… rearward thrust. It’s about adapting the meme to overcome the inherent limitations.

This phase often involves a lot of meticulous planning. You need to know boss patterns inside and out, not just to dodge, but to identify the precise moments your limited "butt" attacks can land safely. It's a dance of patience and calculated risk. You might spend hours in an area like Caelid, just trying to get a clean run through the lesser enemies, let alone facing a major boss.

Late Game Despair: Facing the Elden Beast with a Rear Guard

The endgame. Maliketh, Godfrey, Radagon, and finally, the Elden Beast. This is where the true test of sanity lies. These bosses are designed to be challenging even with optimal builds. Trying to defeat them with "butt attacks" pushes the limits of what's considered possible in a #speedrun.

The sheer health pools of these final bosses mean that a run can be ruined in an instant. One mistake, one poorly timed "butt" attack, and you're back to square one. The #WR attempts here are legendary, often involving dozens, if not hundreds, of hours of practice. You'll see players utilizing every trick in the book: specific talisman setups, optimal Flask usage, and flawless execution of every single dodge and attack window.

"Beating Radagon with a butt-attack felt like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops. The Elden Beast? That's a whole other level of existential dread. But the feeling when that final 'butt' connects... indescribable."

The community often rallies around these attempts, offering advice and encouragement. Seeing a #WR achieved in such a niche category is a testament to the dedication of the #speedrunning community.

The Rhythm of the Run: RNG, Patience, and Pure Willpower

A successful "butt" run isn't just about skill; it's about embracing the chaos. The Random Number Generator (RNG) in Elden Ring can be both a friend and a foe. Certain enemy spawns, boss attack patterns, and even item drops can significantly impact the viability of a run. Mastering the game means learning to work *with* the RNG, not just against it.

This is where the #POG moments happen. A perfectly executed series of butt attacks that melts a boss's health bar faster than expected, or a lucky enemy placement that allows for a quick skip. Conversely, you’ll witness heart-wrenching moments where a single misplaced dodge or a stubborn boss pattern dashes hopes of a new #PB.

The dedication required is immense. Hours are spent practicing specific boss fights, perfecting movement tech, and memorizing enemy placements. It's this grind, this relentless pursuit of perfection in the face of absurdity, that defines the #speedrunning experience for many.

Is It Worth It? The True Meaning of a Hardcore Gaming Experience

Why would anyone subject themselves to this? Because true #hardcore gaming isn't just about difficulty; it's about pushing boundaries, redefining challenges, and finding joy in the seemingly impossible. This run, while humorous in premise, demands an incredible level of skill, knowledge, and sheer persistence. It forces players to engage with the game on a level they might never have considered otherwise.

The satisfaction of completing such a run, of proving that even the most outlandish challenge can be overcome with enough dedication, is immense. It's a badge of honor within the #gaming community, a testament to the player's mastery and commitment. It’s not just about beating the game; it's about beating the game in a way that is uniquely and hilariously difficult.

Expert Tips for Your Own Butt Run

  • Weapon Choice is Key: Experiment with weapons that have wide, sweeping rear-end animations or weapon arts that mimic them. Consider weapons with high stagger potential.
  • Master the Dodge Roll: Your primary defense will be your dodge. Learn every boss's attack patterns and timings to perfection.
  • Embrace the RNG: Understand that luck plays a role. Learn how to adapt to different RNG scenarios, whether it's enemy spawns or boss attack orders.
  • Stamina Management: Running, dodging, and attacking all consume stamina. Efficient management is crucial, especially with slow attack animations.
  • Patience is a Virtue: This is not a run for the faint of heart. Expect to die. A lot. Learn from each death and keep pushing.
  • Community Resources: Check out speedrun.com for Elden Ring and see if any specific categories or strategies have emerged for similar challenges. Connect with other players!

Conclusion: A Tarnished Legacy

Beating Elden Ring with only your butt is more than just a meme; it's a testament to the creativity, dedication, and sheer absurdity that makes the #speedrunning community so special. It requires an intimate knowledge of the game, unwavering patience, and a sense of humor strong enough to withstand the inevitable TPKs. While the path is fraught with despair and questionable animations, the triumph of overcoming such a ludicrous challenge is unparalleled. So, are you ready to embrace the rear guard and become a true legend of the Lands Between? The challenge awaits, Tarnished.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What exactly counts as a "butt attack" in Elden Ring speedruns?
A: It typically refers to weapon arts or attack animations that primarily involve the character's posterior, or are colloquially known as such within the community due to their visual appearance (e.g., wide sweeps, rear-focused thrusts).

Q: Is this a recognized speedrun category?
A: While niche, challenges like this often gain traction within the speedrunning community. Check platforms like speedrun.com for specific categories and leaderboards related to challenge runs.

Q: How much harder is this compared to a standard Any% speedrun?
A: Significantly harder. Standard speedruns optimize damage and efficiency. This challenge intentionally handicaps the player, requiring immense patience, near-perfect execution, and often relying on RNG for success.

Q: What are the best weapons for a "butt run"?
A: Early game options might include certain spears with thrusting weapon arts or great hammers with wide sweeps. Later, specific Ashes of War that involve rearward movements or projectile launches with a "butt" animation are key.

Q: Can you use magic or incantations?
A: This depends on the specific ruleset of the run. Some variations might allow magic if the casting animation is considered "butt-centric," while others strictly limit it to melee weapon arts.